WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
4 comments:
I have an Amish friend that I have known for about two years now. I always love to hear her view on things because they live sooooo differently then you or me. They are brought up with such different values and morals.
Anyway there is a family in West Farmington that tragically lost there son in an auto accident on July 3 this year. It really affected the whole community he had just graduated, he was the star basketball player and he worked in the Elementary school office. Everyone knew Joe. His girlfriend survived with nearly any injuries, she had her seat belt on and he didn't (just a tidbit of info). I found out in weeks later that the Harkelrode family lost another son 8 years ago at the age of 9. Again tragically. (playing on bunk beds got twisted up in the sheets and jumped/fell off top bunk and was strangled).
I am not really quite sure why Joe's death affected me so much but it did and still does.
The other day I was talking with Rosanna (amish friend) and said to her "How can one family deserve to suffer so much as them? What did they do to get this handed to them?" Rosanna replied "God wants everyone to look at the whole picture, maybe the death of these two brothers was a better outcome for them then what may have happened to them later in life, so God saved them from an even worse burden." It's hard to imagine what could be worse than losing two sons tragically in a matter of 8 years but apparantly there is.
She has shown me a better perspective on the situation and in this I feel some comfort.
So that leads me to this....trust in God because he knows what he is doing.
:) Dawn
Oh and God must want you to go to Holland!
:) Dawn
Maxine~
I know it is hard to see now why you are going through this, but I really believe someday someone will need you. They may go through what you are now and you will be their inspiration and cook. Just think of all the pampered chef recipes you could make?? That's a way to promote the business. They will be asking the same questions you are, such as, "How do you thank people for all they are doing?" This world is full of loving, giving people who just want to help and lighten a load for you. Isn't it amazing what people will do in a time of need? As humbling as it is for you, just let people do it and say thanks. Noone expects anymore.
That last comment was mine. I have friends who have been to Holland and I hear it is beautiful. What about those wooden shoes?? Pretty comfy I must say.
Love Nicolle
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